
一、內(nèi)容簡(jiǎn)介
本翻譯報(bào)告中的翻譯材料節(jié)選自《澳大利亞珀斯4×500MW燃煤電站項(xiàng)目主體工程施工合同》,此材料是湖南電建集團(tuán)澳大利亞分公司與澳大利亞**發(fā)電有限公司簽訂位于澳大利亞珀斯的4×500MW燃煤電站項(xiàng)目的主體工程施工合同。該公司委托成都市思譯翻譯有限公司將其擬定的中文合同文本翻譯為英文。本人在成都市思譯翻譯有限公司實(shí)習(xí)期間,參與了該項(xiàng)目的部分翻譯工作,具體章節(jié)為第九至十四章。該部分內(nèi)容是翻譯關(guān)于燃煤電站施工過(guò)程中的施工安全、治安保衛(wèi)和環(huán)境保護(hù)、進(jìn)度計(jì)劃、開(kāi)工和竣工、暫停施工、工程質(zhì)量、試驗(yàn)和檢驗(yàn)的內(nèi)容,共六個(gè)章節(jié),一萬(wàn)五千余字。
源文本具有較強(qiáng)的專業(yè)性,屬于工程合同類文本,譯者要對(duì)該領(lǐng)域的相關(guān)專業(yè)知識(shí)有所了解。例如,譯者在試譯過(guò)程中遇到了“隱蔽工程”、“六牌兩圖”、“臨建設(shè)施”等詞匯,需要譯者查閱建筑領(lǐng)域的專業(yè)術(shù)語(yǔ),準(zhǔn)確翻譯。此外,合同文本涉及大量同義詞或近義詞并列使用的情況,該類詞匯一方面可以增強(qiáng)讀者在閱讀文本時(shí)的正式感和莊嚴(yán)感,另一方面可以通過(guò)詞匯的并列含義縮小詞義范圍,從而限定唯一含義,避免引起歧義。文中有大量的中式表達(dá)、宣傳標(biāo)語(yǔ)、口號(hào)等,首先要充分理解這些詞語(yǔ)、語(yǔ)句想要表達(dá)的意思,再選擇最合適的方法進(jìn)行翻譯。如在直譯后附加解釋、音譯后附加解釋,或者在英文中找到類似的說(shuō)法加以替換等。
二、譯文修改
例1:
ST:承包人發(fā)生基建安全事件后,現(xiàn)場(chǎng)人員應(yīng)立即向現(xiàn)場(chǎng)負(fù)責(zé)人報(bào)告,由現(xiàn)場(chǎng)負(fù)責(zé)人向本單位負(fù)責(zé)人即時(shí)報(bào)告,同時(shí)要向發(fā)包人、監(jiān)理人報(bào)告。
TT1:If any incident endangering infrastructure security occurs to the Contractor,on-site personnel shall immediately report to the on-site person in charge. The on-site person in charge shall immediately report this to the head of the unit. And at the same time, reports shall be made to the Employer and the Engineer.
TT2: If any incident endangering infrastructure security occurs to the Contractor,after informed by on-site personnel, the on-site person in charge should immediately inform to the head of the unit, the Employer and the Engineer.
討論過(guò)程:TT1種譯文銜接不夠流暢,需要選擇一個(gè)恰當(dāng)?shù)闹髡Z(yǔ),使邏輯更加清晰,語(yǔ)句更加流暢。TT2中把“現(xiàn)場(chǎng)負(fù)責(zé)人”做主語(yǔ),能夠使上下文更流暢地銜接。
例2:
ST:承包人應(yīng)切實(shí)做好以下環(huán)保施工工作:
(3)認(rèn)真配合竣工環(huán)保、水保驗(yàn)收工作,確保環(huán)保、水保設(shè)施與主體工程同時(shí)施工、同時(shí)竣工驗(yàn)收、同時(shí)投產(chǎn)。
TT1: The Contractor shall earnestly carry out the following measures for environmental protection:
(3) Carefully cooperate with the acceptance of environmental protection and water conservation, to ensure that the environmental protection and water conservation facilities areconstructed simultaneously with the main project, accepted and put into operation at the same time.
TT2:The Contractor shall earnestly carry out the following measures for environmental protection:
(3) Carefully cooperate with the acceptance of environmental protection and water conservation,together with the main projects, these facilities should be simultaneously constructed, accepted and put into operation.
討論過(guò)程:由于原文強(qiáng)調(diào)“與主體工程同時(shí)施工、同時(shí)竣工驗(yàn)收、同時(shí)投產(chǎn)”,所以改為TT2,這樣會(huì)更加突出“主體工程”的位置,同時(shí)整個(gè)句子也會(huì)更加簡(jiǎn)練。
例3:
ST:發(fā)包人的工程管理人員、項(xiàng)目經(jīng)理、安全監(jiān)督人員、監(jiān)理人將對(duì)施工現(xiàn)場(chǎng)進(jìn)行例行檢查、抽查,按照合同約定的有關(guān)標(biāo)準(zhǔn)或考核辦法對(duì)承包人的安全文明施工、治安保衛(wèi)和環(huán)境保護(hù)等工作進(jìn)行考核,并根據(jù)考核結(jié)果扣減相關(guān)費(fèi)用或要求承包人承擔(dān)違約責(zé)任。
TT1: The Employer’s project management personnel, project managers, safety supervision personnel, and Engineer will perform routine check and spot check on the construction site. The Contractor’s site housekeeping, public security and environmental protection shall be assessed in accordance with the relevant standards or assessment methods agreed in the contract, and the relevant expenses shall be deducted or the Contractor shall be liable for the breach of contractaccording to the assessment results.
TT2: The Employer’s project management personnel, project managers, safety supervision personnel, and Engineer will perform routine check and spot check on the construction site. According to the relevant standards or assessment methods agreed in the contract, they will assess the Contractor’s site housekeeping, public security and environmental protection.If the assessment result is not qualified,they willdeduct relevant expenses or require the Contractor to bear liability for breach of contract.
討論過(guò)程:原句中有一個(gè)隱含的邏輯關(guān)系,即考核結(jié)果不合格才會(huì)扣減相關(guān)費(fèi)用,而不是直接根據(jù)考核結(jié)果扣減,所以翻譯的時(shí)候需要將這個(gè)邏輯關(guān)系顯示出來(lái)。
例4:
ST:
包括但不限于下列內(nèi)容:
(1)安全生產(chǎn)委員會(huì)工作制度
(2)安全生產(chǎn)責(zé)任制度及考核制度
(3)安全宣傳教育培訓(xùn)制度
(4)安全工作例會(huì)制度
(5)安全生產(chǎn)費(fèi)用管理制度
(6)分包安全管理制度
(7)安全施工措施交底制度
(8)安全施工作業(yè)票管理制度
(9)文明施工管理制度
(10)施工機(jī)械、工器具安全管理制度
(11)腳手架搭拆、驗(yàn)收、使用管理制度
(12)臨時(shí)用電管理制度
(13)消防保衛(wèi)管理制度
(14)交通安全管理制度
(15)安全檢查及排查隱患治理管理制度
(16)特種作業(yè)人員管理制度
(17)危險(xiǎn)源、有害因素辨識(shí)與控制管理制度
(18)現(xiàn)場(chǎng)安全設(shè)施和防護(hù)用品管理制度
(19)應(yīng)急管理制度
(20)事故調(diào)查、處理、統(tǒng)計(jì)、報(bào)告制度
TT1:
These include, but are not limited to, the following systems:
(1) Work safety committee system
(2) Work safety responsibility system and assessment system
(3) Safety promotion, education and training system
(4) Regular meeting system for work safety
(5) Management system for work safety funds
(6) Management system subcontracting safety
(7) Work safety measures disclosure system
(8) Work safety ticket management system
(9) Housekeeping management system
(10) Management system for safety of construction machinery and equipment
(11) Management system for disassembly, acceptance and use of scaffolds
(12) Management system for temporary electricity
(13) Fire prevention and security management system
(14) Traffic safety management system
(15) Management system for safety inspection and elimination of hidden dangers
(16) Management system for operators of special types of work
(17) System for identification, control and management of hazard sources and harmful factors
(18) Management system for safety facilities and protective equipment on site
(19) Emergency management system
(20) Accident investigation, handling, recording and reporting system
TT2:
Theseinclude, but not limited to, the systems in the following fields:
(1)Work safety committee
(2) Work safety responsibility system and assessment
(3) Safety promotion, education and training
(4) Regular meeting for work safety
(5)Work safety fundsmanagement
(6)Subcontracting safetymanagement
(7) Work safety measures disclosure
(8) Work safety ticket management
(9) Housekeeping management
(10)Safety of construction machinery and equipmentmanagement
(11)Disassembly, acceptance and use of scaffoldsmanagement
(12)Temporary electricitymanagement
(13) Fire prevention and security management
(14) Traffic safety management
(15)Safety inspection and elimination of hidden dangersmanagement
(16)Operators of special types of workmanagement
(17)Identification, control and management of hazard sources and harmful factors
(18)Safety facilities and protective equipment on sitemanagement
(19) Emergency management
(20) Accident investigation, handling, recording and reporting
討論過(guò)程:為了避免重復(fù),出現(xiàn)大量的system,影響譯文質(zhì)量與閱讀體驗(yàn),可以統(tǒng)一將譯文中20個(gè)小標(biāo)題中的system刪去,在不影響語(yǔ)義的情況下,使譯文更加簡(jiǎn)潔,不冗雜。
三、研討反思
經(jīng)過(guò)此次譯名堂,我收獲了許多,在案例分析方面也有很多新的思路,非常感謝三位老師以及各位同學(xué)的幫助。
首先,要跳出源文本的束縛,不能完全按照原文中的內(nèi)容進(jìn)行逐字翻譯,要仔細(xì)研究原文內(nèi)容,對(duì)其有自己的判斷,做出相應(yīng)的取舍。例如,在例4中,由于有20個(gè)關(guān)于“制度”的小標(biāo)題,而且是并列出現(xiàn),將其譯為“system”一詞,在TT1中反復(fù)出現(xiàn)了20次,有時(shí)在前,有時(shí)在后,整個(gè)文字排版看起來(lái)很凌亂,而且譯文也不簡(jiǎn)潔。根據(jù)老師的意見(jiàn),將其全部刪除,開(kāi)頭一句處理為“Theseinclude, but not limited to, the systems in the following fields”,已經(jīng)將所有“system”包含在內(nèi),下文中不必再反復(fù)出現(xiàn),這樣處理使譯文更加簡(jiǎn)明、精練。
其次,需要理清句子中的邏輯關(guān)系。例如,在例3中,原句中有一個(gè)隱含的邏輯關(guān)系,即考核結(jié)果不合格才會(huì)扣減相關(guān)費(fèi)用,而不是直接根據(jù)考核結(jié)果扣減,所以翻譯的時(shí)候需要將這個(gè)邏輯關(guān)系顯示出來(lái),不能一刀切,繼續(xù)按照原文進(jìn)行逐字翻譯。還有在例1中,有一個(gè)從下至上,依次逐級(jí)匯報(bào)的邏輯關(guān)系,如果簡(jiǎn)單地進(jìn)行逐字翻譯,不僅會(huì)出現(xiàn)大量的重復(fù),還會(huì)使句子邏輯結(jié)構(gòu)混亂,此時(shí)需要找出一個(gè)合適的主語(yǔ),TT2中把“現(xiàn)場(chǎng)負(fù)責(zé)人”做主語(yǔ),不僅能夠使上下文更流暢地銜接,邏輯更加清晰,語(yǔ)句更加流暢,整句話的翻譯也更加簡(jiǎn)潔明了。
除了以上收獲之外,我也明白了遇到問(wèn)題時(shí)向?qū)I(yè)人士尋求幫助的重要性,根據(jù)三位老師的指導(dǎo)意見(jiàn),我會(huì)進(jìn)一步精修自己的譯文,更加認(rèn)真地進(jìn)行后續(xù)工作,在遇到積極尋求老師的意見(jiàn)和建議!


