匯報(bào)時(shí)間：2021年12月9日20:00-21:30
匯報(bào)地點(diǎn)：思學(xué)樓B207
匯報(bào)學(xué)生：馮華瓊
指導(dǎo)教師：柯文雄
匯報(bào)題目：《津市毛里湖國(guó)家濕地公園生物多樣性示范項(xiàng)目環(huán)境影響報(bào)告表》
參與導(dǎo)師：柯文雄、王淑雯、阮先玉、宋莉娜
內(nèi)容簡(jiǎn)介：
該文本選自《津市毛里湖國(guó)家濕地公園生物多樣性示范項(xiàng)目環(huán)境影響報(bào)告表》(第四至第十章），是對(duì)規(guī)劃和建設(shè)項(xiàng)目實(shí)施后可能造成的環(huán)境影響進(jìn)行分析、預(yù)測(cè)和評(píng)估。該環(huán)境評(píng)估報(bào)告可以讓出資方詳細(xì)了解項(xiàng)目環(huán)保情況。該文本主要介紹了項(xiàng)目建設(shè)工程所在地的環(huán)境質(zhì)量現(xiàn)狀及評(píng)價(jià)；環(huán)境評(píng)價(jià)所適用的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)；工程施工期和營(yíng)運(yùn)期的污染源；工程主要污染物產(chǎn)生以及預(yù)計(jì)的排放情況；該工程建設(shè)對(duì)環(huán)境的影響，包括廢水、廢氣、噪聲、生態(tài)環(huán)境等以及該項(xiàng)目施工期及營(yíng)運(yùn)期的生態(tài)環(huán)境監(jiān)理。
譯文修改：
例1：
ST: 本報(bào)告建議在壩體拆除采取分段分時(shí)施工，即不對(duì)壩體一次性拆除，對(duì)壩體采取分時(shí)段分區(qū)段進(jìn)行拆除，避免一次性拆除，讓壩體內(nèi)的水體一次性進(jìn)入自然水體，影響自然生態(tài)環(huán)境，讓壩體內(nèi)的水體和自然水體混合，慢慢形成一個(gè)完整的生態(tài)系統(tǒng)后再拆除其余壩體，同時(shí)壩體拆除及時(shí)清理拆除的建筑垃圾，不得占用濕地公園水面。
TT1: It’s recommended that the dam should be removed in segments and time divisions. Because the water will all flow into the natural water body if the dam is removed at one time, which will affect the natural ecological environment. Therefore, workers should remove part of the dam to mix water body in the dam with the natural water, and they should not remove the rest of the dam until a complete ecosystem is formed. Meanwhile, the construction wastes in the wetland park should be cleaned timely when the dam is removed.
TT2: It’s recommended that the dam should be removed in segments and time divisions. The water will affect the natural ecological environment if the dam is removed at one time. Therefore, part of the dam should be removed to mix water body in the dam with the natural water, and the rest of the dam should not be removed until a complete ecosystem is formed. Meanwhile, all wastes in the wetland park should be cleaned timely.
研討反思：這個(gè)例子是一個(gè)由多個(gè)平行分句所構(gòu)成的一個(gè)長(zhǎng)句子，其主要難點(diǎn)在于內(nèi)容的理解與傳達(dá)，句子的劃分，提取主要信息，刪減重復(fù)信息以及被動(dòng)句式在此類信息文本中的應(yīng)用。在理解該句內(nèi)容的基礎(chǔ)上，老師們建議可將其劃分為三個(gè)部分：第一部分，壩體應(yīng)分時(shí)分段拆除，因?yàn)橐淮涡圆鸪龝?huì)影響生態(tài)環(huán)境。第二部分，因此要先拆除一部分壩體，讓壩體內(nèi)的水體和自然水體混合慢慢形成一個(gè)完整的生態(tài)系統(tǒng)再拆除其余壩體；第三部分，及時(shí)清理建筑垃圾。其中“不對(duì)壩體進(jìn)行一次性拆除...避免一次拆除”為重復(fù)信息，“不占用濕地公園水面”無實(shí)質(zhì)性意義均可刪除。由于自己在翻譯的過程中，對(duì)于斷句的內(nèi)容添加了主語(yǔ)，老師們認(rèn)為該主語(yǔ)使用不夠恰當(dāng)，應(yīng)采取被動(dòng)句式對(duì)原文進(jìn)行處理。
例2：
ST：項(xiàng)目建成后的最高每日游客量約為4000人左右，游客的生活用水量按照60L/d計(jì)算，損耗量按照20%計(jì)算，則游客的生活廢水產(chǎn)生量約為192m3/d（70080m3/a：時(shí)間按照365天計(jì)算）。
TT1: The maximum volume of daily visitors after the completion of the project is about 4,000 persons, thus the domestic wastewater produced by visitors is about 192m3/d (70080m3/a: one year is deemed as 365 days) if the domestic water consumption of visitors is 60L/d, and the loss is calculated as 20%.
TT2: After the completion of the project, there will be 4,000 tourists in a day, thus the domestic wastewater produced by visitors is about 192m3/d (70080m3/a: 365 days a year) if the domestic water consumption of visitors is 60L/d, and the waste is 20%.
研討反思：這個(gè)句子是游客生活廢水產(chǎn)生量的計(jì)算翻譯，老師們指出，對(duì)于此類句子的翻譯，首先要理清各個(gè)數(shù)據(jù)之間的邏輯關(guān)系，找到句子的主干再進(jìn)行翻譯。該句還有兩個(gè)難點(diǎn)，一個(gè)是“游客量”的翻譯，以及由于中英文的表達(dá)習(xí)慣與思維方式的差異，“按照...計(jì)算”這種中式表達(dá)我們應(yīng)該用什么英文表達(dá)來進(jìn)行轉(zhuǎn)換才能更加貼合目標(biāo)語(yǔ)言的讀者需求。在老師們和同學(xué)們地激烈討論下得出，“游客量”不要直譯，該句可理解為“游客每天最多有4000人左右”；而對(duì)于“按...計(jì)算”可根據(jù)具體語(yǔ)境進(jìn)行詞性轉(zhuǎn)換或是譯為“是...”。
例3：
ST：堅(jiān)持循序漸進(jìn)，有控制、有秩序地開展津市毛里湖國(guó)家濕地公園生物多樣性示范項(xiàng)目建設(shè)的原則，控制開發(fā)強(qiáng)度和利用規(guī)模，其生態(tài)旅游建筑設(shè)施與景觀設(shè)施建設(shè)規(guī)模、范圍要嚴(yán)格按照規(guī)劃執(zhí)行，建筑設(shè)施所使用的材料要環(huán)保，要把項(xiàng)目建設(shè)帶給資源與環(huán)境的負(fù)面影響控制在可承受的限度，確保旅游區(qū)自然生態(tài)環(huán)境的良性循環(huán)，實(shí)現(xiàn)生態(tài)旅游業(yè)的可持續(xù)發(fā)展。
TT1: It is required to adhere to the principle of gradual, controlled and orderly construction of biodiversity demonstration projects in Maoli Lake National Wetland Park of Jinshi. The development intensity and utilization scale should be controlled, in detail, the scale and scope of ecological tourism building facilities and landscape facilities should be strictly in accordance with the planning, the materials used in construction facilities should be environmentally friendly to control the negative impact of project construction on resources and the environment. The virtuous cycle of the natural ecological environment in the tourist area should be guaranteed to realize the sustainable development of ecological tourism.
TT2: The development intensity and utilization scale should be controlled, for example, the scale and scope of ecological tourism building facilities and landscape facilities should be strictly constructed, and environmentally-friendly materials of construction facilities are preferred to control their negative impact on resources and the environment. The virtuous cycle of the natural ecological environment in the tourist area should be guaranteed for the sustainable development of ecological tourism.
研討反思：縱觀整個(gè)句子的內(nèi)容與結(jié)構(gòu)，我們可以看到“堅(jiān)持循序漸進(jìn)，有控制、有秩序地開展津市毛里湖國(guó)家濕地公園生物多樣性示范項(xiàng)目建設(shè)的原則”在后文有詳細(xì)的展開，老師們建議，該句內(nèi)容可進(jìn)行刪減，刪減后的信息內(nèi)容對(duì)原文信息的傳達(dá)并無影響。后面的內(nèi)容是屬于典型的漢語(yǔ)平行結(jié)構(gòu)，呈竹狀式結(jié)構(gòu)，我們要對(duì)原文的主干信息進(jìn)行提取，再將修飾語(yǔ)等處理成相應(yīng)的句式表達(dá)，避免句子結(jié)構(gòu)單一，邏輯性不強(qiáng)。同時(shí)老師們也指出了句子中一些使用不當(dāng)?shù)脑~匯。
總結(jié)：在此次翻譯研討過程中，我也受益匪淺，老師們給出了很多建設(shè)性的意見，不僅在術(shù)語(yǔ)，詞匯上面給予了我們很大的幫助，同時(shí)，對(duì)于句子以及篇章的處理的建議也尤為重要，讓我對(duì)自己的文本翻譯有了更加清晰的認(rèn)識(shí)，在處理句子結(jié)構(gòu)上有了很大的收獲。除此之外，為了確保文本譯文的可讀性，我們需要閱讀環(huán)境評(píng)估報(bào)告相關(guān)的外文平行文本，找到此類文本翻譯的語(yǔ)言風(fēng)格與表達(dá)形式，在接下來的時(shí)間，我也會(huì)遵從老師們的意見與建議，不斷優(yōu)化打磨自己的譯文。
